Windswept and Interesting : My Autobiography (2021) by Connolly Billy

Author:Connolly, Billy [Connolly, Billy]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

One night, a Scottish nationalist guy called Alistair drove us home from Gourock. He was using the official car they’d been using for political announcements. It had a loudhailer mounted on the roof so he could drive through the town urging people to vote for them. We’d had a couple of pints after the gig, so it was after one in the morning when we set off. We were driving home through these little towns in Renfrewshire, and Gerry said to Alistair: ‘How do you work that loudhailer?’

‘Oh, it’s dead easy. You just click that thing there and talk through the microphone …’

When we reached the town of Johnston, Gerry grabbed the microphone: ‘Good evening Johnston! This is an important message! A terrible accident has occurred – a lorry carrying large venomous snakes has crashed. The snakes have escaped. They’re running wild all over town. Do not panic! Come onto the street carrying your old folks. Gather at the square.’

By then we were out of the town.

Gerry’s pranks were hysterical, but he was troubled. He could be unpredictable too and suddenly snap. He didn’t invite me to his wedding, but I showed up anyway. I thought, ‘I’ll just go to the wedding. It’ll be a good laugh. There’ll be booze.’ Gerry took it well. I think he was slightly embarrassed by me. He knew I was good; he told the artist and playwright John Byrne I was the funniest man in the world. Maybe he didn’t want to be in my company in front of people he respected from the music world. I dunno.

Gerry was single-minded and ruthless about his career. I admired that, but we would make records and afterwards he’d go in and re-record my guitar part. Maybe he genuinely thought he could do a better job, but I was really wounded. Ouch! I’ve always been able to put up with anything for a quiet life. Mona taught me that. So, I’d always give in to Gerry’s pressure: ‘Okay, we’ll do it your way’.

Strangely enough, in recent years people have been rediscovering The Humblebums and letting me know they like my stuff. They like ‘Everybody Knows That’.

It only rains when clouds bang together

But everybody knows that.

And it’s rockets and missiles that are causing this bad weather,

But everybody knows that.

Gerry was definitely an all-round better musician than me. He was extremely clever and wrote brilliant songs. And he was a great harmoniser; I was not. Florence had tried to teach me how to harmonise when we were kids. We’d be in bed and she would demonstrate the harmonies and expect me to repeat them. I was terrible at it. Years later, Gerry Rafferty would get just as angry with me when I was supposed to harmonise with the band. I think this fear of harmonising intensified in school. I hated music lessons. My music teacher was bloody terrible. Every single music lesson would be dominated by her favourite song: ‘Marie’s Wedding’. You’d be sitting there, your nose stuffed up with snot, singing, ‘Step we gaily, on we go.

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